OLRmageddon LVIII - March 2012
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Xenon Odyssey
Mighty Composing Sexophonist


Joined: 27 May 2005
Posts: 5,758
Location: Forest Hill Zone

PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 7:44 pm    Post subject: OLRmageddon LVIII - March 2012 Reply with quote

OLRmageddon

With Brunzo adding another gold to his piles of medals, he graciously allowed the magniloquent Tarrasque to bring us our theme this month! And without further delay, here it is:

Tarrasque wrote:
MARCH MASHUP MADNESS



Some things are best done in pairs. Filet mignon is no good without red wine
sauce, and six-man 3-on-3 territory control Nerf wars in your best friend's
basement are ten times more Rambo with the lights off. Toejam and Earl only
has singleplayer mode because Johnson and Voorsanger wanted you to enjoy their
magnum opus even after you killed your wife for opening a Randomizer on
level 20. But of all the experiences improved by cooperation, misdemeanors
are by far the best, and that is the most important thing I learned in school.

Stretch was 6'4" in 9th grade, raisin-colored rings around his eyes from all
the sleep he lost because of his chronic night terrors - otherwise he looked
like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo, with his burnout goatee and unkempt sandy blonde
mop. Dad was a career alcoholic working on his third marriage to some English
woman, mom was a witch doctor who once famously prescribed him herbal crap
for liver flukes (those are parasites, if you don't know). His only biological
sibling is a deadbeat elder brother who went to a vocational school for auto
repair in Vincennes and spent two semesters there in the parking lot dealing
cocaine out of the back of his van. His half-sister from a previous marriage
smartly stays as far away from that family as she can.

In the 4th grade, long before we ever met, some old God-fearing redneck with
Jurassic tenure didn't like the way Stretch looked and acted, thinking this
kid's strange Tim Burton dialogue and fanatic preoccupation with every school
of physical science was a certain, certain indicator that he was a natural-born
psychopath and that he was going to kill somebody sooner or later. The Indiana
state primary education system's protocol for handling children who are
suspected of harboring Satan is to put them on "Level One," a disciplinary
initiative overseen jointly by school administrators and local police, and
these damned souls are escorted to the building every morning by an officer
assigned to the campus. Daily assignments for Level One kids are compiled
by student aides and (maybe!) delivered to the child's isolation room in the
main office. In accordance with this disciplinary policy, the child is not
permitted to have contact with other students or receive instruction by
teachers; they wake up at 5:00am sharp so an armed policeman drives them to
school, wherein they spend eight hours in a sterile "meeting room" struggling
to learn unfamiliar material from unhelpful books, and at the end of the day
the cop comes back to drive them home - that other prison.

If you don't believe anything in the last paragraph, I admire your skepticism,
but my duty to the truth obligates me to destroy it: Everyone in Fishers is
aware of the long-standing tradition of mutual cooperation between local law
enforcement and school staff. Years ago, the current chief of police and the
current superintendent were drinkin' buddies, and as they handpicked the
future lieutenants and enforcers of their respective cult empires, their most
sacred commandment placed above all other directives was to cover each other's
asses. Present-day, the police inform school faculty of the locations of
random vehicle stops days in advance, personnel caught having sex with students
are silently removed from their current position and installed in a neighboring
district, and police refuse to investigate the annual year-end reports of
guidance counselors corralling all the seniors who failed the state's ISTEP
standardized testing battery and compassionately suggesting they drop out, thus
omitting them from key paperwork that determines how much government funding
the school receives. The incident with Coach Lydie has all but vanished from
public conscience, but the Dr. Syverson incident of 2008 is still fresh news;
vice principal Syverson was caught driving drunk on the way home from a roaring
holiday party, and with one call to the responding officer's supervisor,
good ol' Syverson was escorted home, and his wife was sent to collect the car
left on the side of the road. The cop valiantly sacrificed his career for the
good of the public by posting the dashboard cam of the incident online... for
what little good it did. Everybody already knew about all of this for a while,
and after Syverson was suspended with pay, pending a disciplinary
review which was naturally closed to the public, the town was ever-so-briefly
alive with discussion.

This was the only Planet Earth that Stretch could call home. He was life's
prisoner from birth, and Death was having too many chuckles at his expense
to take him back. Math and literature didn't really click with this poor kid,
but he had a lot of personal experience with cruelty, and vice, and lies, and
he had studied the effects of deferred dreams on a soul in a jar. He understood
morality as the set of unwritten rules that everyone knows but nobody obeys,
and that the more creative you were about getting away with your savagery,
the more money and power you were bound to reap. Freedom was the precious
moments when nobody was looking; Hell, when everyone was. And his mother's God
never did anything but watch.

He made other friends, thankfully, even if most of them lived in his
neighborhood. A fringe benefit of negligent parents is that you're free to
explore the undeveloped forests near your house and salvage discarded home
appliances from the Dirge Swamps of the Mosquito Dominion. Our meeting was
a freak accident which had nothing to do with any of the above, which, you
must realize, made it very unique. But that story is really boring.

Our favorite activity was fire. The graveyard shift at Walgreens knew us both
by name, and didn't bat an eye when we bought half a dozen lighters, two
bottles of isopropyl rubbing alcohol, and a bag of Mike 'n' Ikes. Our free
weekends were spent soaking tennis balls in flammable chemicals and batting
them back and forth in the seat of an abandoned quarry - the winner was the
guy who hit the ball hard enough to fracture its brilliantly burning shell,
the exposure of its hollow core creating an evanescent vacuum with a sharp pop
and a billowing flare. We turned his old shoeboxes full of action figures into
an elite squad of pyronauts, and He-Man's landmark contribution to the field of
Explodometry was forever memorialized by gluing his surviving extremities to
a Campbell's soup can containing the rest of the pieces we recovered over the
following two years.

An expert in creating diversions, and a veteran grand master at justifying
misbehavior, I think my most valuable asset to Stretch was keeping him
out of trouble, which only emboldened him to push that envelope as far
as he could while the opportunity was there, and I never failed him. He was two
separate entities, the transformation triggered by proximity to me: Sullen,
mumbling, awkward Gollum when alone, jolly and eagerly incensed to adventure
when Steve was involved. He would never have dared flush those cylinders of
industrial silica beads down the toilets in the men's restroom on the ground
floor of our high school if I didn't bring them with me in my backpack to
summer school geometry. Broad Ripple Avenue would never have had its garish
modern bar music overwhelmed by The Best of Scottish Pipes and Drums set to 34
volume in his mom's silver Corsica if I didn't mess with the radio at that red
light. He would not have mooned that old woman in the elevator at Anime Central
2007 if I spoke up and let him know that someone else had stepped in while his
maniacally laughing head was pointed at the floor. Also, if I didn't shout and
tell him to drop the solid fuel charges he was holding in his hands while he
hammered on the faulty detonator's controls, he would have lost his arms before
he remembered to actually put the charges in the chamber of our homemade
dual-axis mobile potato launcher turret.

Over the seven years we knew each other, we amassed so many war stories that
we never knew where to begin when introducing one another to acquaintances.
Fritz Leiber's sword and sorcery adventure stories about Fafhrd and the Grey
Mouser were both our instruction manual and our abridged history - there was
nearly nothing we hadn't done, or that we weren't willing to do if we just
had some alcohol or more gas money. We would prospect for quartz crystals, we
would walk around the strip mall with black t-shirts wrapped around our heads
pretending to be ninjas, we would stargaze on the rare nights when the absence
of smog permitted it. We were evenly matched in a contest of longswords, but
his mastery of the knife was unrivaled - even my command of hafted weapons,
with their obvious reach, could not afford me more than a few seconds
before he parried, or ducked, and swatted me. Secretly, we were hoping for
nuclear winter, so we could play D&D in the wasteland a la Fallout.

Since the day we met, all that vivacity and raw life energy that had been
agonizingly pressurized up until then, he'd burn it as hard and as fast as the
laws of nature allowed. When the paramedics pulled him out of the car he parked
in the front door of our favorite Chinese buffet, he was topless, a tattoo
of Blackblade burned down the length of his sternum and fresh abrasions on both
knuckles consistent with repeated punching, wearing an oversized bright pink
wicker sombrero and his Beavis and Butt-head boxers underneath a pair of cargo
jeans loaded to capacity with lighters, matchbooks, and expired half-eaten bags
of Doritos and party mix, and Don't Fear The Reaper was still playing when they
removed the cat carrier full of partially-burned college books and coursework
wrapped in an immaculate American flag from the passenger seat. The fuzzy d20s
hanging from his mirror and most of the bizarre mix of occult and Buddhist
memorabilia cluttering the backseat and the rear window didn't survive the crash.

I saluted and clapped for the clown I hired for the funeral until his mother
threw both of us out.

---

All titles are eligible! CAVEAT: Your submission has to be
a mashup!


What is that? A mashup is where you take two tracks and artistically
unify them into one semi-listenable whole! If you're a club dance DJ, all this
means is stretching one of the tracks so they both have the same tempo, and
having one of them fade into the other. If you're an actual composer, you do
anything but that.

Most importantly, you should have fun! Only 9 months until the foretold end
of the world!


I see that no bonus was given, so unless Tarrasque comes and adds one, there won't be one! Y'ALL GOTTA RELY ON YOUR SKILLS (of entering) FOR THIS ONE!

However
, please note: if you do decide to use a popular song along with your selected source, be advised it may not be posted on the site, barring further review from the Judges.

Arrow Mixing begins when you read this.
Exclamation Mixing ends on March 27th at 11:59 PM EST (8:59 PM for the PST-ers).
Arrow Voting begins as soon as the songs are uploaded to the site.
Exclamation Voting ends on March 31st at 11:59 PM EST.
dump truck Rinse & repeat.

OGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!
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Disk Mastah Smokabitch wrote:
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Last edited by Xenon Odyssey on Wed Apr 04, 2012 10:55 am; edited 1 time in total
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Tarrasque
A Boy and His Blob (400+)


Joined: 19 Mar 2005
Posts: 483
Location: also lobster

PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 10:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

oh shit THAT'S the addendum you were talking about

yeah i didn't make this clear at all, but i mean, this is a remix site for video games so i figured it would be implicitly understood: you should probably use tracks from video games, not IRL games or even non-games as the case may be

because, like, there's the obvious spiritual complaint, "OLR is for vidja games, not another Better Off Alone mashup (although pairing it with the Ryugu Castle theme from Goemon's Great Adventure was an excellent choice)," but also because there are people with a lot of money who get pretty upset over hosting their copyrighted material. curiously, these people are not the same people who make video game music. if they are the same people, they have done a very poor job of taking down OCR.

also, lol, my bad,

BONUS: ANACHRONISM

splicing two NES tracks together is pretty trite, even if i can't name an instance of this fad that i specifically hated, so what we're going to do is, we're going to award you a bonus if your tracks(s) (DOUBLE PLURALITY, USE THREE OR MORE, THAT'S TOTALLY KOSHER) are from video games released for consoles in different generations. for those of you who aren't familiar with the term "generations" as it applies to consoles, when the fuck were you born?! but anyway it means the NES and the Sega Genesis were competing alongside fringe crud like the TurboGrafx i guess, and then years later it was Xbox/Gamecube/PS2...

"hey tarrasque what about PC games, games for personal computers, you know that kind of stuff?" "yeah, i know, PC releases are of course not able to be categorized by console generation, so what we do is, we sort them by the decade they were released which i admit is an imperfect system because there is a galactically immense technical difference between Corncob 3D (1992) and Planescape: Torment (1999). if this offends you, there are a lot of websites with pictures of kittens that can take your mind off of this terrible injustice.
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Tarrasque
A Boy and His Blob (400+)


Joined: 19 Mar 2005
Posts: 483
Location: also lobster

PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 11:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hey one more thing

the advertisements on this site are pretty goddamn misleading sometimes



so, i mean, i'm not a music guy, but i know music guys, and their girlfriends are not that hot. if they were, i would stop being a words guy and immediately dump all my EXP into music guy. can you even believe how much she looks like Julia Roberts in Hook, except better? it is very hard to improve upon the tomboy facet of Tinkerbell, a literary character deliberately constructed to embody that concept, and yet holy shit do you see how big that gauge is in her ear? and, and her hair looks like something out of Samurai Shodown, there's probably a doctorate-level mathematical proof that describes and gives a name to this phenomenon of total hotness. that smile makes me feel like tomorrow is going to be okay. i own a Saitek PX5000 and the freedom to shit with the bathroom door open without anyone questioning me, and i can basically guarantee you that tomorrow is going to suck - unless i meet that girl and she can name at least two video games that feature music by Howard Drossin.

all the more disappointing when, in fact, of the two confirmed women that have posted here with any regular frequency, one is jailbait (PERMANENTLY, nobody cares you're of age now, you're like that niece who will always be eleven years old to you, forever and ever), and the other is from some european country so she's just as inaccessible as mermaids and succubi and other fantastic creatures of myth.

i have been deceived, in a way which breaks my heart.
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Xenon Odyssey
Mighty Composing Sexophonist


Joined: 27 May 2005
Posts: 5,758
Location: Forest Hill Zone

PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 11:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, well I originally going to say 'no popular stuff' but I figured that'd be wrong, considering that only the winner gets posted which is our concern. So anyone is free to mash-up whatever, but just be advised it may not be posted if you use shit that could get us in trouble!

Also, welcome to the world of advertising, where slapping on a female face is the #1 marketing strategy of companies trying to get you to spend your cold hard cash on something that is easily self-taught if you have enough willpower and the Internet. You should go find the gay thread we made in unmod so Google changes your cache to show male dating sites.
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Disk Mastah Smokabitch wrote:
Xenon is the Ailsean of OverLooked.
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Tarrasque
A Boy and His Blob (400+)


Joined: 19 Mar 2005
Posts: 483
Location: also lobster

PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 4:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Xenon Odyssey wrote:
You should go find the gay thread we made in unmod so Google changes your cache to show male dating sites.

dude no lies, i set my facebook Hometown/Current Location to shit like Lobsterville and Lobster Bay, places in newfoundland apparently, and of course this was all just another lobster joke thing and i've never been to either of those places, but now i'm getting all these advertisements in fucking quebecois french. i think most of them are dating sites even. it is so lame. i mean it's not like i am actively interested in advertising material so the fact that they're written in french isn't a huge deal at all, but like, the only good kind of french is cajun. (see Gambit)

F4T4L says the only reason he allows quebec to exist is because of jon lajoie.

hahah also, i just learned like two days ago that two of my best budzzz have okcupid profiles, and i'm like GUYS SERIOUSLY THAT IS SO GAY, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU WROTE ABOUT YOURSELVES, and like, the really lonely guy, he wrote a big pretentious life story that definitely guarantees nobody will ask him out, but the other guy who doesn't give a fuck about being alone and he lives in a shitty apartment full of cockroaches with a broken shower and one working wall outlet, he seriously filled in every blank with either "what the fuck" or a non-sequitur anecdote about his taste in music. i laughed so hard. they're still trying to convince me to get a profile and i'm like NO FUCKING WAY DUDES, NOT GONNA HAPPEN... BUT IF I DID, I'D WRITE x FOR THAT QUESTION

oh but the best part was when they told me that okcupid generates lists of like, suggested users that you should go out with, which is so bizarrely retarded that my brain threw a segfault, but after i recovered i'm like LOL, SHOW ME ONE OF THE HIDEOUS OGRE WENCHES IT PAIRED YOU WITH, and we spent like the entire afternoon and evening laughing at random lonely girls. LOOK AT THAT WHORE, i would shout, SHE'S GOT LIKE FIFTY PICTURES OF HERSELF AND HALF OF THEM ARE SEPIA-TONE OR GREYSCALE, AND, AND SHE SHOWS OFF ALL THESE DUMBASS FASHION ACCESSORIES SHE GOT FROM HOT TOPIC, AND WAIT IS THAT A MOTLEY CRUE TANKTOP? WOW FRANK I THINK THIS IS HOW THE INTERNET TELLS YOU TO GO FUCK YOURSELF AND DIE ALONE. the best one though had to have been the single mom... hang on YESSS IT WAS STILL IN MY URL HISTORY, READ THIS SHIT OH MY GOD,

oh my god.

i mean this shit, it is worth its own thread, it's seriously that fantastic. every word on that page adds another layer to the comedy tetris board. i sat here for like six minutes typing a sentence and deleting it because it just wasn't enough and i knew i'd have to keep going for several paragraphs just to get it out of my system. i might even still do that.
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cotti
Daisy (50+)


Joined: 30 Jun 2009
Posts: 55
Location: BH-MG-BR

PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 6:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I dreamed today that my remix in the Judging queue for months was finally posted.

No, seriously. I actually dreamed that.

The detail is that it's actually a mashup of sorts, and only then I woke up and saw the theme for this month.


I'll try to get something done, so please do not intern me.
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Tarrasque
A Boy and His Blob (400+)


Joined: 19 Mar 2005
Posts: 483
Location: also lobster

PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 6:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

cotti wrote:

No, seriously. I actually dreamed that.

that is awesome, ask me about my unhinged dreams sometime

but no seriously did you read that okcupid profile i linked to, i very strongly recommend you do that, it is extremely great
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Xenon Odyssey
Mighty Composing Sexophonist


Joined: 27 May 2005
Posts: 5,758
Location: Forest Hill Zone

PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 7:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

cotti wrote:
No, seriously. I actually dreamed that.


So dreams do come true?

Tarrasque wrote:
but no seriously did you read that okcupid profile i linked to, i very strongly recommend you do that, it is extremely great


oh my god, that only got better as it went along. 'WHY I DON'T HAVE A HUSBAND' made me chortle into my soup.
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Disk Mastah Smokabitch wrote:
Xenon is the Ailsean of OverLooked.
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Tarrasque
A Boy and His Blob (400+)


Joined: 19 Mar 2005
Posts: 483
Location: also lobster

PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 9:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

her daily schedule is truly outrageous

* watch WWE with 6-year-old and infant, that shit is off-the-wall stimulating and educational for developing minds

* do laundry OH RAPTUROUS LAUNDERING, HOW I LOVE THEE, HOLY SHIT WHAT WOULD I EVER DO IF THE WASHING MACHINE BROKE

* pray for a faithful black husband with "dreeds" that wouldn't mind entering into a relationship with a developmentally handicapped woman and her two children from previous trysts

* proofread okcupid profile and ask yourself if you seriously just told the entire internet that your pussy is "like a slip'n'slide"

* "yeah that's definitely my best selling point right there, how can i possibly remain unmarried if every man in indiana knows i supplement my genital oils with bacon grease?"

* listen to lil' wayne and other wholesome christain rap artists while misspelling stephen king's name

* cross not ye dwellers in the sea, lest ye be crossed. ia ia! dagon fthagn!
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OneUp
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Joined: 03 Dec 2007
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 18, 2012 1:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Does it have to be mash ups of the original tracks or is it allowed to use your own instruments? And could you alter for example the lead of one track to follow the bass of the other?
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Xenon Odyssey
Mighty Composing Sexophonist


Joined: 27 May 2005
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 18, 2012 6:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd assume that to be acceptable, since mash-ups generally use the original audio. Although it doesn't matter if you use the original audio or re-create it with MIDI data to change it to fit better with another song.

Leads and shit should be alright as well; as long as we got two songs going on to create a new one, we're in the clear!
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Disk Mastah Smokabitch wrote:
Xenon is the Ailsean of OverLooked.
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Level 99
Daisy (50+)


Joined: 30 Sep 2009
Posts: 52
Location: Towson, MD

PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 6:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aight, where do I upload this shit to again?
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Xenon Odyssey
Mighty Composing Sexophonist


Joined: 27 May 2005
Posts: 5,758
Location: Forest Hill Zone

PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 6:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

On your face that's where! crocodile Plok!
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Disk Mastah Smokabitch wrote:
Xenon is the Ailsean of OverLooked.
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OneUp
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 1:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Xenon Odyssey wrote:
On your face that's where! crocodile Plok!

http://i.imgur.com/rRuLF.gif
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Xenon Odyssey
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 9:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

love

OH HAI
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Disk Mastah Smokabitch wrote:
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Xenon Odyssey
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 6:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ARE YOU FUCKERS SHITTING ME‽ SOMEBODY VOTE BEFORE I CHOKE A BITCH.
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Disk Mastah Smokabitch wrote:
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Xenon Odyssey
Mighty Composing Sexophonist


Joined: 27 May 2005
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 9:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Results!

1st Place - OneUp - Dr Bustleduck Mappio Manhockey - 10 points

2nd Place - Brunzolaitis - Make Balloons, Throw Balloons - 6 points

3rd Place - Level 99 - GVVVVVVile's VVVVVVacation with VVVVVVectorman - 3+2=5 points

4th - Brunzolaitis - I gotta Kirby - 2 points


Thank you to all the last minute voters!
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Disk Mastah Smokabitch wrote:
Xenon is the Ailsean of OverLooked.
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Tarrasque
A Boy and His Blob (400+)


Joined: 19 Mar 2005
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 1:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i have bacterial conjunctivitis and can't see to write anything

i had my friends come here and check the competition status and tell me to apologize

to submit a post after writing it, hit tab twice and then press enter
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OneUp
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 6:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wii, thanks guys (and girls (haha))! love
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Xenon Odyssey
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 9:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

OneUp wrote:
Wii, thanks guys (and girls (haha))! love


Don't forget to get me a theme and bonus! (or make it known that someone else can do one for you)
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